Reflections on Life: Putting the Facade to Rest

13/10: Reconciliation and Elevating the Conversation

I had the opportunity to attend a luncheon the other day. It was a roundtable discussion between pastors and ministry leaders who are affirming of the LGBT community. Last month a separate roundtable took place with non-affirming pastors and ministry leaders. The goal is not to change each others’ minds, but to eventually get both groups at the same table and provide a safe place for dialogue on already-existing and relevant LGBT issues; and hopefully to be able to unite in our common purpose of sharing the Gospel and living in loving community with one another.

I must admit, it wasn’t exactly what I expected.

From my perspective, I foresaw a lot of hesitancy on the part of the non-affirming pastors. I also had an expectation that the affirming pastors would be eager to sit down with willing, non-affirming pastors for dialogue. I’m sure there are lots of factors that play into why I had these expectations; but this discussion was good in that it helped me see that things aren’t exactly as I thought they were.

There is a lot of hurt in the LGBT community. Even still, there is a lot of hurt within Christian leadership in the LGBT community. More so than I realized.

Some of the ministry leaders at the roundtable were extremely suspicious. One even went to the extent of saying he just avoids everything to do with the mainstream evangelical church, because of the history of hurt it’s caused in the LGBT Community.

On one had, I tried to put myself in his place and empathize with his feelings. On the other hand, I was thankful for the transparency, yet hurt by this statement and attitude.

We’ve all been hurt at one time or another, and I am by no means saying forgiveness and forward motion is an easy thing, but isn’t that what we’re called to as believers? I understand that I’ve not immersed myself in the ministry that God has given to this particular leader; no doubt he’s experienced far more hurt and pain than I have; he’s probably had person after person come to him in tears, life torn apart by people with seemingly good intentions casting judgment and emanating rejection.

God has been speaking to me on a few things lately. One of the big ones lately has been reconciliation. It’s funny how one particular message can be applied to so many aspects of your life at a given time ... God works like that. This theme of reconciliation has been reoccurring for the last several weeks.

Then yesterday, I kid you not, I picked up a devotional book I haven’t looked at in almost a year and a half (Neil T. Anderson’s Who I Am In Christ), and opened it up to the bookmarked page. The title of Chapter 31, where my bookmark rested, is, “I Am A Minister of Reconciliation.”

You can’t make that stuff up.

The verse listed under the title is 2 Corinthians 5:17-20,

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.”

Daily I’m learning more and more what it means to love unconditionally, to live life without judgment. One of the ministry leaders at the luncheon made reference to something Billy Graham once said:

“It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to convict, it’s God’s job to judge, and it’s my job to love.”

I think that about sums up what I’m feeling right now. It’s my job to love. No matter what one’s views are on issues, no matter where one comes from, it’s my job to love and make peace. “Blessed are the peacemakers.” I have no authority to judge or convict. I have no room in my heart to harbor unforgiveness. As one who has been on both sides of the fence at one time or another, I should be more understanding of why both groups of people think and feel the way they do. And with that understanding, it’s my responsibility to share the love of Christ and be that beacon of light; to be willing to set aside past hurts and doubts, and “elevate the conversation.” What happens in a person's heart after that love is shared is a work of God ... not me. I can’t control the outcome; all I can control is how closely I’m walking with God and sharing His love with the people He puts me in contact with.

22/06: Anointing, Appointment, and Kickball

I went to the Chaplain’s weekly Bible study during the lunch hour last Thursday. On Thursdays, the group watches one of Rob Bell’s Nooma videos and then has a discussion. The one we watched last week was entitled, “Kickball.”

In the video, Rob illustrates a memory of walking through the mall with his family, when his toddler stops at one of the toy kiosks. The vendor there is selling a ball on an elastic string that attaches to the wrist, intended to throw into the air and catch it as it is rocketed back toward you.

His toddler watches in amazement and begs his father for the toy. Rob refuses, trying to help the boy understand that it’s just going to come back and hit him in the face; it will get dirty; you’ll lose it; you won’t enjoy it as much as you think you will. Rob then takes his child to a toy store and lets him choose a kickball instead. The wiser father knew that a kickball would get a lot more use out of it, would be more fun for him and the other children, and would benefit him more in the long run.

The child, in amazement at seeing the wall and variety of colors of kickballs, chooses an orange one and walks to the cash register, hand-in-hand with his father, kickball-in-tote, in complete satisfaction and excitement.

The parallel is drawn here of what we continually ask, even beg our heavenly Father for here on earth. In His infinite wisdom and mercy, fully knowing events to come and with a complete picture of what is currently happening, He sometimes tells us, “No.” Or sometimes He says, “Not now.” Or perhaps He leads us to another toy store and gives us an orange kickball instead.

I was writing and journaling during the discussion about different ways to apply this to my life and the requests I make and have made of God, when one of the individuals in the group made a comment.

She said that there is a distinction we must make between the time God anoints us and when He appoints us.

Look at Jesus, for example. We know what He was anointed to do. We also know that He was not appointed to His ministry until He was 30 years old. And then, it was not until three years later that He became the final sacrifice for our sins.

What about David? There are many more examples.

There are times in my life when I wonder what in the world I am doing. I wonder why I’m not yet doing the things I feel that I am called to do on this earth. There are times like these when I get extremely frustrated with where I am in life. Well, more accurately, I’m frustrated with where I am not.

But I realized last week that the frustration I have experienced has been unnecessary. I am where I am for a reason. There are things that have happened and are happening in my life that are preparing me for future events and ministry.

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose,” (Romans 8:28 ESV).

So when I start to question God, to ask Him to bring me places I feel I should already be; to allow me to do things I feel I should already be doing; and to give me things I feel I should already have; I remind myself that He just might be taking me to get at kickball instead. I have things inside of me that I feel God has anointed me to do; perhaps the time I spend where I am now is going to play an important role in the decisions I make and the callings I fulfill at the time of my appointment.

22/11: Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day, 2007

Okay, so it’s not quite Thanksgiving Day yet. Well, in some time zones it is. But here in Los Angeles and the rest of the Pacific Standard Time Zone, we’ve got 51 more minutes.

Anyhow, I was thinking about a lot of things today. My brother sent me a text reminding me about how last year we woke up at around 3AM on Black Friday to go to Best Buy when they opened. I can’t remember what we were going for, or if we even bought anything. I just remember waking him up that morning, and with that dazed look he said, “Are we really going?” And of course when we got to Best Buy, there was already a line of campers lined up along the wall outside the front door. It must have been some new iPod or something that was coming out. Today both of us were in amazement that that was almost an entire year ago. This year flew by, and so much has happened since then.

Thinking back to last year’s Thanksgiving made me miss my family all the more. I wish I was able to fly home for Thanksgiving and see everyone. But, instead, I’ll be running the Starbucks from 10 A.M. until after we close at 6 P.M. I am blessed, though, to have a great group of friends here that I am going to visit after work and warm up some turkey and hang out with for a bit.

Tonight I attended the Thanksgiving Eve worship service at church. I think God has been priming me all week for this, but it may have been tonight at church that I actually received the message from God.

In Liturgy and Ecology in Dialogue, Lawrence E. Mick recalls the story that, “Charles Dickens once told an audience that he felt we Americans had it backwards when it came to Thanksgiving Day. He suggested that we should have one day a year for griping and complaining and then use the other 364 days to thank God for the many blessings we have received.”

For a while, I would have characterized the flow of my life by describing myself as being underwater, tossed and rolled around by the undercurrent; constantly being knocked over and swirled around by the stormy waves. More recently, I’d say that I’ve made some progress in certain areas, but not enough to truly move forward. It’s the whole, “two steps forward, three steps back,” thing. But there is a sense of accomplishment in the two steps forward at the time that they are made. Granted, they can be seen as meaningless in the end; but during those times in life, I’ll take what I can get.

So many times I’ve allowed the day-to-day affairs of life to take over; I’ve allowed my life to run me, instead of being the good steward and maximizing the days I’ve been given by God.

One of the main things I realized tonight at church is that I’ve not been thankful.

There, I said it.

I’ve been downright ungrateful.

God has blessed me with so much, yet I continue to neglect to praise Him.

For someone who sees poverty every day at work, you’d think I’d be a little more thankful. I mean, the homeless come into my store all the time. Just goes to show how we can get wrapped up in our own little world sometimes. But I’m ready to change that.

In First Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV), Paul writes to the church, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you,” (my bold).

So much of my time recently has been spent in the, “Woe is me,” department, that I’ve neglected giving thanks. I’ve neglected the attitude of thanksgiving and praise that I should have as a believer. Tonight at church we spent time singing praise and worship to our God; we reflected on Psalm 100; we read and heard a message on Deuteronomy 8:6-18. Moses was reminding the people that God will provide all of their needs, and said, “you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land he has given you,” (v. 10, ESV). In this passage we’re reminded to, “Take care lest you forget the Lord your God … and (when) all that you have is multiplied, then your heart be lifted up, and you forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery, who led you through the great and terrifying wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water, who brought you water out of the flinty rock, who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end. Beware lest you say in your heart, ‘My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth.’ You shall remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your fathers, as it is this day,” (v. 11-18, ESV).

Wow. He’s provided for my every need. All I can do is thank Him. I may be stressed out with life and work and a host of other issues that are bound to happen on this earth, but none of that can change God, His nature, His love, or who I am in Christ. None of what I experience here can compare to the pain and torture Jesus went through on the cross, all for me.

I’m tempted here to say that so much of life is trivial, meaningless, and ridiculous to worry about. That’s only partially true. What I’m realizing in this stage of my life is to see God and His hand in everything around me. He created all of this, and He has divine providence over the things that happen in my life. I do have free will to run away and return, to obey or to disobey, to love or not to love, to give or to withhold. But both in the end and throughout the process, God is still there: loving, providing for, watching over and guiding me, every step of the way.

I am so thankful. I’ve got an incredible family that loves me, and I love them very much. I have great friends, both here and abroad, who love me and I them. I’ve been blessed with an amazing church only a few minutes from my apartment, with a pastor who loves the Lord and has a wonderful staff of Christ-focused ministers, and an awesome fellowship of believers. I’ve been blessed with a job that helped me make the move to California and has been used to stretch me in ways I never thought I’d be stretched. I work with a great group of people. I’ve got a roof over my head, food in my kitchen, gas in my car and a great roommate. Most of all, I have the Holy Spirit inside me, this incredible gift of a relationship with the Creator of the universe, and a life to live and dedicate to God.

I may not fully understand everything I’m going through when I’m going through it, but I know that God knows what He’s doing. And I know that He is faithful to see me through it.

One of the questions that the pastor posed tonight was, “Do I have enough faith to praise Him before I receive the blessings He’s promised?”

Well, I know I can at least praise Him for what He’s already done. That’s a start. And once I get started, I realize that He’s got a lot more planned for me, so I’ll praise Him for that, too.

And now, it's officially Thanksgiving. Thank-You, God, for everything. Help me to remember to give thanks, in everything, in all circumstances; to see You and Your hand in the world around me, and to be sensitive to Your leading in every aspect of my day. All year, every day. All 365 of them.

General 

17/09: Life, Junk & Bad Habits (part one)

Being authentic is difficult; especially when I’ve found it hard to be real with myself. How can I be transparent with other people? How do I begin that journey?

These are questions I’ve asked myself, more probingly, over the last several weeks.

I recently finished Rob Bell’s book called, Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith. It is truly an inspired, amazing book. A must-read, and not just for Christians. In the book, there was a particular chapter, “Movement Four: Tassels,” that stopped me. I couldn’t move forward without action. I couldn’t even read the next chapter. I tried but couldn’t go on. Here is an excerpt [at first I just kept typing and typing, copying almost the whole last section – there is so much to read and ponder – but here’s a smaller excerpt]:

I cannot lead people somewhere I am not trying to go myself. I don’t have to have arrived, I don’t have to be perfect, but I do need to be on the path. And that’s why for so many the church experience has been so shallow – so many leaders have never descended into the depths of their own souls. They haven’t done the hard, difficult, gut-wrenching work of shining the bright lights on all of the years of baggage and destructive messages.

It is so hard to look deep inside yourself. My experience has been that very few people do the long, hard work of the soul. Maybe that’s why Jesus said the way is narrow.

I’m hoping that wherever you are on your journey, you are tracking with me. I beg you to get help wherever you need it. Go to a counselor. Make an appointment. Go on a retreat. Spend a couple of days in silence. Do whatever it takes. If you’re barely holding on, come clean. Tell somebody. Tell everybody if you have to. Check yourself in somewhere. What is it ever going to mean for you to gain the whole world if you lose your soul in the process? (I feel like I’ve heard that before somewhere.)

I say the system has to be changed. It has to be destroyed and replaced not with another system but with an entirely new way of life. I see it happening, and it gives me great hope. I see leaders getting help and refusing to stuff it any more. I see communities embracing their brokenness and the brokenness of their leaders, and healing is taking place. I see honesty. I see people who want to be fully alive. I see people who want the life Jesus promises and who are willing to let go of ego and prestige and titles to get it.

…And those few who do the difficult work, who stare their junk in the face, who get counsel, who let Jesus into all of the rooms in their soul that no one ever goes in, they make a difference…

I want to make a difference. I want to fulfill the purposes God has for my life. But I realized that in order to continue on that journey, I need to start staring my “junk” in the face. I need to start going to God to allow Him to undo 20 years of bad habits, while conforming me more and more into His image and the “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17) I became when I asked Him to come into my life.

More to come…

21/07: In Everything Give Thanks

"...giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father..." It's always good to be able to just sit and think of all God has blessed me with. When I really think of all the wonderful people and provision in my life, I can't help but be thankful.

Over the last couple of days I've really been able to think about and acknowledge what an awesome family I have ... both biological and otherwise. Some family members disagree with my sexuality, others are indifferent, and some support me as a gay man. And all of them, praise the Lord, are amazing people; loving, kind, and generous. I am truly blessed.

I made it over 3,000 miles from my home in Virginia to visit my friends and move all the way to California, with almost no hindrances. God truly provided and protected!

God has always provided for my needs. I've never gone without something that I really needed. He continues to supply and bless me in ways I never thought or expected. Both back in VA and since I've moved to California -- I'm surrounded by an amazing community of God-loving brothers and sisters who are supportive and encouraging, and I couldn't ask for more. My long-distance relationships are equally amazing -- friends and family who love and care from a distance are significant blessings to be counted and treasured!

God answered all of my prayers in the positive concerning finding a job out here -- I was offered a position with the exact salary and location I prayed for, and one that has good benefits to boot! Praise the Lord!

I'm actively involved with two amazing online gay Christian communities, the people with whom I am able to fellowship and interact with on a regular basis. God is awesome! There are many amazing churches in this area to worship in -- some placed do not have that luxury! Thank the Lord for His provision and the freedom He gives here!

I could go on and on ... God is amazing. I can't thank Him enough for all He's given to me. Whenever I start to get overwhelmed or burdened, I need to remember all He's done for me in the past and present, and remember His promise to never leave nor forsake me, and to always provide for my needs. In Him alone do I trust!! Thank You, Jesus!

20/07: Family

You know, I think I came off wrong in a portion of my blog from earlier today (that portion I have since just removed). I spoke of rejection from my family. I now realize, after causing unnecessary hurt, that we all have different understandings of rejection: what it is, how we perceive it, and how we handle it.

I'm a very people-oriented, and relationship-oriented person. I avoid rejection at all costs. I avoid conflict and confrontation. I avoid all of the uncomfortable stuff. So for me, I feel rejected immediately at something as simple as a disapproving look (from someone I love and respect). And as small as that may sound, it still hurts. Perhaps some of that stems from my innate people-pleasing tendencies.

The truth is, as I didmention in the same sentence from the earlier blog, I do have a very loving and caring family. My family has always been there for me in the tough times, and has always been there to help: emotionally, financially, and in any other way I needed. I have a great relationship with them despite the disagreement some of us might have on the issue of homosexuality. My extended family (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) have also always been there and willing to help. Whatever many of them feel in knowing I'm gay has not been expressed toward me. We've still laughed and joked and hugged when I left home, and I'm thankful to have been blessed with such an incredibly caring, loving group of people to surround me.

I've heard a lot of stories from folks that experience true rejection from their family and peers upon coming out. I can't really relate with that. The only heartache I have is that on my end, I feel that I can't always share my heart with everyone. There is a certain disconnect with some loved ones in knowing that I can't fully disclose my heart for fear of judgment or that I would offend them with my remarks or thoughts or passions or ideas. That is the rejection that I spoke of earlier; nothing more, nothing less. Perhaps some of it is just perceived and not actual. Perhaps for some, this would not even register as rejection. Perhaps I'm just a wuss and need a lot more refining.

All I know is that I've made a ton of mistakes in my life; the last couple of years have been plagued with bad decisions, disorganization and a degree of apathy. Those are some of the things I am working to change now. My fresh start in California is indeed a fresh start on many levels. I'm seeking a higher level of authenticity in my life, with everyone. I want to live a simple life, devoted to Christ, organized and balanced, placing God first and my loved ones second. I want to be a better son, brother, nephew, grandson, friend, manager, coworker...

Although it causes pain and discomfort in the present, I welcome the refining fire God brings; I know He will shape me into the man I'm supposed to be, despite my falling short.

19/07: Whirlwind ... and God is there

Wow; it's been quite a while since I've blogged here. Things have been extremely hectic with my old job, moving to California, coming out to friends and family, and dealing with Pharisaical traditions. Nevertheless, God is good.

It never ceases to amaze me how God uses the unexpected to minister to me. For the last few weeks I've been blessed by the opportunity to lead the daily devotions team for ChristianGays.com, in which Monday - Friday I send out a devotion to the subscribers. There have been a few days that I've missed, regrettably, and I feel terrible about that. But I'm getting more focused now and hopefully I will stay consistent. Some days I'm able to write devotions and send them out; other times another member of the devotions team writes one for the group and I send that out; other days I find a devotion from the internet and copy it to the group. Several of them have come from The Vine website, by Mr. Bob Gass. It was late last night and I was about to fall asleep when I decided to go ahead and use The Vine again for today's devotion. His are always pretty good and so I read over it before posting it to the group. It was a good lesson but nothing really jumped out at me.

This morning I got up and started my quiet time with the Lord, just praying over my prayer list and asking God to grant me focus and vision to accomplish the things He has laid out for me. Then my mom called. I love my mother dearly and we had a great conversation, but she told me of how some more of my friends back home are finding out that I'm gay, and a few have contacted her to just say they love her and I guess are praying for me and the family. All wonderful things, in and of themselves. It's just hard not to think about the people and the sadness and anxiety a couple of them are experiencing over my "choice to live an alternative lifestyle." I have a couple of good friends who, at this point in time, disagree with me based on what they've been taught all of their lives and what they believe the Bible says about homosexuality ... but ... they feel like they know me, they've heard my story (or portions of it) and have heard where I'm coming from; they understand that I would not willfully disobey the Lord, and that I want to honor Him with my life. With that understanding, they're not grieving just yet. They've decided to prayerfully take on the teachings they've heard all of their lives, research the scripture and ask God for guidance.

Amazing things happen when we are able to make our faith our own; when we can study the Word of God objectively, asking the Holy Spirit alone to guide us and grant us the understanding we need; when we can say, with confidence, that we believe something because we, ourselves, have studied and have peace about it from the Lord, and not just because it's what the pastor said on Sunday morning.

People are too afraid to question; to step out of the box and question their faith. I know it sounds crazy, but think about it. Why do I believe that homosexuality is not inherently sinful? Some might say, "Well surely, Stan, you think that because you have struggled with that sin all of your life and just gave in to the devil." Others, who know me better, might realize that I took almost two years of my life to read and research and pray about this thing. I was forced to step outside of mainstream thinking and look at this as with new eyes; as if I'd never looked at it before. Why was I forced to do so? Because as much as I begged and pleaded with God, He never made me straight. As much as I cried out to Him with a sincere and desperate heart, He never would give me the "freedom" from homosexuality that I thought I needed. And the more I looked around, the more I saw that there were, in fact, born-again, Bible-believing, faith-walking, Gospel-teaching Christians who loved the Lord Jesus Christ with sincere hearts, oftentimes more sincere and genuine than some of the other Christians I knew (myself included) ... oh, and they were gay. I figured there had to be more to it, and thus I began my journey.

Anyhow, I started this blog to say, "Thanks, Lord." The devotional that I posted last night before I went to bed was completely new to me this morning when I read it after I got off the phone with my mom. The scripture text is Malachi 3:3, "He will sit as a refiner...of silver," (NKJV). Mr. Gass is talking about the times in life where God puts us through the fire to refine us, and make us into the beings He has created us to be. He says:

If you feel like you're in the melting pot today, maybe God put you
there. Have you thought of that? The refiner is burning away the
impurities and removing the obstacles in your life: "He will sit as a
refiner… of silver; He will purify… them like gold… Then the Lord will
have men who will… be acceptable." Since God's plan is to make us more
like Jesus, He'll take us through the experiences Jesus went through.
What are they? The wilderness of temptation; rejection by your family;
the strain of caring for others; criticism from religious people; and
betrayal by those you love and have invested your life in. So, are you
in the melting pot?

The experiences Jesus went through. Wow.

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for opening my eyes and reminding me that The Lord is close to
the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18 NLT). All I must do is keep my eyes on You, the author and finisher of my faith, and live out the life You've called me to live. In You, alone, will I trust.

General 

12/06: Proverbs 2:1-5

Oftentimes I wonder if I really know what this means. Do I consistently, passionately, "call out" for wisdom and "raise [my] voice for understanding… ?" Is my relationship with God so lively and vibrant that I constantly, "hunger and thirst for righteousness, " (Matthew 5:6), that is, the righteousness I gain from His presence in my life? Do I consciously and unconsciously want more of Him?

One might surmise that the two biggest words in this passage are, "if," and, "then." If we receive His words, and treasure the things He says above all else; if we perk up our ears to listen to His voice; if we so much desire the pure and holy truth of God, so much that we cry out for it and search for it as if it were hidden treasure beyond our wildest imagination; then … we will understand. Then we will find the knowledge of God. And with the knowledge of God comes the ability to see what He wants us to see; to understand what He wants us to understand; to be able to recognize the opportunities He places before us. With the knowledge of God comes fulfillment gained from no other Source.

Lord Jesus, help me today to hunger and thirst after righteousness. Even now, God, cultivate in me a true hunger for Your Word; constantly call me into prayer, that I might learn what it means to pray without ceasing. Guide me today into Your truth and grant me the discipline to feed my spiritual hunger with Scripture and prayer each and every day. Use me today, God. In Jesus' Name…

30/05: Be Still and Know

“Be still, and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10, ESV

Sometimes when I sit down to have my quiet time with the Lord, my mind doesn’t want to cooperate: I sit down and open my prayer journal. My eyes close for a moment, as I attempt to hone my focus on God. My eyes reopen and I begin to read over my lists in preparation to lift the requests before God. Instead, a myriad of images and “to-do” lists manifest themselves in the place of what should be a calm stillness. I have a long day, week and month before me; mounting piles of things to do, people to call, work to be done, all consume my thoughts. Sometimes it may be just one or two things that vie for my immediate attention: “Oh! Let me quickly take care of this or that, and then I will be free to meditate on the Lord.” Sometimes I do just that, and come back to my quiet time a few minutes later. Oftentimes I wonder if this is just some satanic ploy to distract me from a longer, more meaningful time with God.

As I read through Psalm 46, I envision a tumultuous world of constant action and destruction, “life” coming down at every turn, with very little peace and stillness. “…though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling…The nations rage, the kingdoms totter …” Yet in verses nine through eleven, we are reminded:

“He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear; he burns
the chariots with fire. ‘Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will
be exalted in the earth!’ The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah.”

Amidst all of life’s perceived obstacles, trials, “mountains,” “roaring waters,” and storms, we are commanded to: “‘Be still, and know that I am God...’ …the God of Jacob is our fortress…” Just be still. And know.

Father, I thank You that by Your Spirit, I can be still and know that You are God; that You are the God of all creation, the God who created the mountains and the sea, Who can calm the storms in my life, Who can remove the mountains that obstruct my way and cast them into the sea. I thank You that by Your Spirit I can know that You are ever-present in my life since I have given my life to You, and that You alone can carry me through this life and all of its’ trials. Calm my heart and mind to dedicate this time specifically to deepening and strengthening my relationship with You. Open my eyes to see the spiritual opportunities all around me – to gain knowledge and understanding through the trials I go through today, in order to be able to more effectively reach and minister to the people You place in my life. Remind me of Your presence and use me today in all that I say and do. In Jesus’ name I pray …

19/05: Letter from Jimmy Carter

I wasn't able to copy and paste the text here, but my aunt sent me a link to this letter just written by Jimmy Carter regarding his support of getting rid of Don't Ask Don't Tell in the military. Each day we are gaining more and more influential allies. Continue to pray that this is overturned!

Letter from Jimmy Carter