Catholic Dictionary

AMEN:  The only part of a prayer that everyone knows

BULLETIN:  1. Parish information, read only during the homily
       2. Catholic air conditioning    3. Your receipt for attending Mass

CHOIR:  A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation
       to lip-sync

HOLY WATER:  A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY

HYMN:  A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher
       than the congregation's range

RECESSIONAL HYMN:  The last song at Mass, often sung
       a little more quietly, since most of the people have already left

INCENSE:  Holy Smoke!

JESUITS:  An order of priests known for their ability to found colleges
       with good basketball teams

JONAH:  The original "Jaws" story

JUSTICE:  When kids have kids of their own

KYRIE ELEISON:  The only Greek words that most Catholics can
       recognize besides gyros and baklava

MAGI:  The most famous trio to attend a baby shower

MANGER:  1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph
       wasn't covered by an HMO
               2. The Bible's way of showing us that holiday travel
       has always been rough

PEW:  A medieval torture device still found in Catholic Churches

PROCESSION:  The ceremonial formation at the beginning of Mass,
       consisting of altar servers, the celebrant, and late parishioners
       looking for seats

RECESSIONAL:  The ceremonial procession at the conclusion of Mass
       - led by parishioners trying to beat the crowd to the parking lot

RELICS:  People who have been going to Mass for so long,
       they actually know when to sit, kneel and stand

TEN COMMANDMENTS:  The most important Top Ten list
       not given by David Letterman

USHERS:  The only people in the Parish who don't know the
       seating capacity of a pew

If you liked this article, please share it. It's easy to do. Give it a try.

Note from Mary: The Google Ads at the top and bottom of these pages are supposed to reflect the content within the website, however they are selected by robots so may actually be contrary to ChristianGays.com beliefs and principles. ChristianGays.com does not necessarily endorse the Advertisers, although I'm sure some of them are very good.